2 Men Talking

Hugo; how can I ever thank you enuf? Since you took an interest in my plight, nothing but good fortune has come my way. It all culminated in the final few minutes of my life as a butterfly, when a beautiful Austin Princess kissed me and returned me to my former splendiferous existence. Then, out of the blue, I received an urgent email from another Princess who, poor soul, in spite of being fabulously rich is living in appalling conditions in Latvia, besieged by a hostile family and has two imminently life threatening diseases. To cap it all, she was advised only days ago that she has to give it all to a good cause or risk eternal damnation! And I was the first and only person she could think of. Unless she’s having trouble with her numbers too.

How she managed to find me I’ll never know, but rest assured, I immediately sent off all my bank details apologising for the delay in order to help this poor Princess. Apparently, within days I can expect to have £M62000,000. 19s 6p deposited into my petty cash account for use in doing lots of jolly good deeds and generally helping out those with less than the major nought situation with which we’re currently blessed.

However, she also points out in the email that since her husband would have been one if he hadn’t had the temerity to die before she did, and it’s only academic cos she’ll soon be popping her own clogs anyway, but she did say that she’d require proof that a large proportion of the money had been spent on widows. Now I’m all in favour of good causes, but where the hell are we going to find a bunch of comely widows at such short notice to waste 19/6d on? Bit of a dilemma what?

And finally, since she’s not been in touch for many years, she wants to be assured that we’re still regular in church, follow the thirteen commandments, do not covet our neighbour’s ox, refrain from fornication and generally remain all round good eggs. Don’t know about you Hugo, but I’ve only got trouble with the middle one.